Have you checked the children?

At primary school the little ghouls would tell each other scary stories, and one was a variation of "Have you checked the children?" . You know how it goes, the babysitter is alone with the children sleeping upstairs, (so American), the phone rings and a scary voice asks, Have you checked the children?. This results in lots of checking on said children, loads of screaming, numerous scary phone calls and lekker skrik when it turns out the calls are coming from within the house. It's been the basis of many movies and fireside tales of terror.
The remake should revolve around highway signs and flashing billboards at every petrol station, have you checked your children are securely seated in your vehicle?
Even though there is a lot of information about the likelihood of injury to unrestrained children in the event of a car accident, it seems that many people still have not changed their behaviour. According to the Safe Kids worldwide website, 6500 children die each year in car accidents. Behaviour change is difficult to effect as warning messages don't seem to work. Criminalizing such behavior might work in less crime ridden societies, however we have bigger things to worry about then whether Mrs Smith is abusing her child by allowing her to stand on the front seat while shooting off to the shops, don't we. Or we can just see it as part of a general law avoiding mindset that South Africans seem to embrace, laws are for other people.
So for those drivers who are responsible about driving with their children in car seats, there's some good advice on how to use them properly at www.holidayresorts.co.za.
There is a risk of neck and spine injury if child car seats are used incorrectly. Since babies heads are heavy and their neck muscles as yet undeveloped, serious injury can be sustained if the child head rolls forward, or flops around. Safety tips include, using the correct booster seat for the age, size and weight of the child, and securing the seat at a 45 degree angle to ensure head support. Child car seats must be rear facing, in the back seat of the car, and airbags should be deactivated as they can kill small children. Another potential source of injury from an item designed to protect, is from the incorrect use of seatbelts. While the risk of serious injury or death is greater when not wearing a seatbelt at all, proper use is vital to avoid internal injuries. For small children it is important that securing straps are positioned correctly as close to the hips as possible and are not twisted or damaged in any way. Second hand car seats are out, as are any previously involved in accidents. Adult seat belts are also dangerous to small bodies, so a good quality safety approved booster seat, which is properly secured and tested is really the minimum. What is the point of buying cheap, when a childs life depends on the seats quality.

New rules of the road.

This list has come out of the fact that clearly the current road rules are too complicated since they are generally ignored. So here's the crib notes to stay alive on the road.
Rule number one, drive with your eyes open, yes, we all want to close our eyes and pray, when it looks like we may crash, but amazingly all round vision improves if you keep them open, stay focussed, and awake. In addition you can exercise your neck by looking around just to check if there are other road users driving with their eyes shut. Just a thought.

Rule number two, you must be able to see over the steering wheel, sorry this is non negotiable. There's nothing more alarming for fellow road users than to be approached at high speed by an apparently driverless vehicle. Get an adjustable seat if particularly short waisted.
Rule number three if you are parked on the road side, it is traditional to check for other vehicles before pulling out. It's a fine distinction but really quite important, check before you go, not after finishing your cell phone call, or in between applying lipstick, or when under the truck you didn't see coming. This leads to rule four. Your car is a public space so save personal hygiene for the privacy of your bathroom. What ever is in your ear, or up your nose is of no interest to other road users, and will be just as fascinating later, in private. Preening is much more enjoyable in the bathroom with lots of candles, and those rearview mirrors are terrible when putting on make up. On this note affection is a wonderful thing but it can go too far, so don't let the excitement get out of hand, unless you want an audience.
Rule number five, unless you are a superhero, with special multitasking superpowers you can't drive and phone, text, or facebook at the same time. Accept it, no one can, there's no shame.
Rule number six, while you may be psychic, no one else is, so sending thoughts to other drivers about your need to stop suddenly really doesn't work, so do try to use that stick on the side of the steering wheel to show what you plan to do next. It is called an indicator for a reason.
Rule seven, big vehicles can do whatever they like. No, silly this is a democracy and everyone has to follow the same rules, so even if you are stupidly rich, incredibly important or criminally talented you can't just ride roughshod over smaller vehicles. Even motorbikes have the right to use the roads. You have to be extra careful to spot those tiny roadusers, and give them extra space. Its only fair.
Rule number eight, stop at four way stops. Even if the guy in front of you is going, it's not your turn yet. Whoever reaches the stop first goes first, not whoever doesn't stop. It's not a race.
Rule number ten, pedestrians carry no points, are people too and may dawdle across the road at any time. You may not run them down, not even if they are drunk. These road rules apply equally to all users, and are effective immediately. To apply for a special exemption send money now.

In love with freedom

Today we all have the chance to vote, make our mark, influence history, or prepare to pay salaries to our favourite charity cases. It is still exciting to participate in a democratic election, and non voters can shut it for the duration, its just wrong not to make the effort because the cost in lives to get here has been so high. So here's hoping there's still some light in the rainbow nation, and that we will see some real leadership. We will have to live with our choice for the next five years, so it's worth taking seriously. Voting for and supporting a political party is a lot like paying off a car. It may be a decision of a moment to decide to buy a new car but the consequences of the choice linger as it takes five years to pay off and the similarities don't end there. When you get into that car, be it new or second hand, all is wonderful. Think of this as the honeymoon period, or first 100 days in office. You are so in love, with the novelty of this amazing new vehicle, or the brilliant leader that you don't see the warning signs. Little foibles give character, an unyielding suspension has that go kart feeling, similarly odd political decisions are seen as paying back political favours, really no choice in the matter. And just when you think everything is running smoothly, all systems go you are suddenly brought up short when you start running out of fuel, where is it going? Oh of course your neighbour needs it, well after all we owe them and no it's not a loan, rather a gift. You're still in love, but now its time for some tough decisions, like what to do about that little bit of rust, just like corruption, it tends to spread, so you make the decision to deal with it head on, and just like corruption, that damn rust just keeps resurfacing where you least expect it. But you know thats the price you pay to live in a democracy, so we carry on, a little disillusioned but at least we are still going forward. The honeymoon is over after a couple of years, and now we have to pay up to fix those little problems, we need new tyres, we need new shocks, suddenly we rethink our commitment and start looking around for something better. Its official, now we are in the cheating phase, but there are no guarantees that we wont end up worse off. So just like the careful, considered choice we make about which car to buy, check the service history, and customer care credentials, before you make your mark.

Drive safe, eat chocolate.

Easter brings holidays and chocolates, a great excuse to abandon the diet, and family time and tragic road deaths. Every year, we take to the highways and sacrifice some of our number as if to the pagan god of the road. The traffic police will be out in full force enforcing the laws and catching who they can but it will still be a dangerous proposition taking to the streets. Because it's the holidays we may have a toot or three. We tend to overestimate how much alcohol takes you to over limit. It is not two beers, rather a third of one, and a glass of wine which could be anything from 250ml to 450ml is way over the limit. A tot means just that, not a double. The only real way to be safe is no drinking at all.
Apart from guestimating your safe limit, other factors play a role. Unfair as it is women can't drink the boys under the table, as our bodies deal with alcohol differently, we get drunker faster on less, and since we are usually smaller, it takes longer to leave our systems.
Dutch courage may give you charm and confidence but also relaxes your reflexes so split second decisions will take longer.
In addition to the usual precautions we take when driving, staying alert, taking breaks, limiting distractions, keeping a sensible following distance, we can all choose to stay off cellphones behind the wheel. Texting while driving is dangerous, apparently as bad a intoxication. So even if you are the multi tasking mistress of the universe in your daily life, you are fooling yourself if you really think you can do it all when driving. Get a grip. How many times has some idiot cut into your lane, and just when you think they must be blind realise that they have a phone attached to their heads, or are not even looking at the road because they are sending a very important text message. Like "whats for dinner?',or 'what you wearing?". How useless to have an accident over the mundane arrangements of what to eat.
So my Easter wish is that no one gets hurt this year on the roads, but lots of chocolate bunnies get eaten.

Choose now.

Option 1

It’s the year 2030, and a new world order has emerged from the ashes of the
old economy. Wars rage over water, now the new oil, over food, fuel, land
and fishing rights. Battles start daily between competing nations in oceans
aroung the world, over the days catch. Sea levels have risen over 2 metres
in the last twenty years, and the sea is yielding less fish as it becomes
flooded with fresh water. The developing world is sliding violently back
into a brutal past, and development goals are forgotten as previously
developed nations attempt to collect debt repayments. Developed nations
return to their distant agrarian past, and milk maid is now a great job
opportunity. The Chinese Liberation Army polices the world, and in an about
face the Americans cut off contact with the outside world, allowing no trade
or tourism. Self reliance is their new motto, and the world be damned. The
idea of a lifestyle, and the trappings of wealth and priviledege are foreign
concepts and survival is all that is taught. Old documents are studied with
great interest as students try to understand the old days, of self interest,
and personal goals and human rights. Only the survival of the collective
matters now. The idea of the freedom of personal transport escapes this new
generation, why would you want to go any where on your own, what about the
dangers? Besides what are roads?

Option 2

It’s the year 2030, and the planet blooms. After a successful Earth Hour in
2010, the nations of the world decided to work together for the good of the
planet and all humanity. Urgent measures are immediately understaken to
reverse global warming and ensure the survival of the planet. No longer
treated as the rubbish bin of humanity, the planet revives, and renews
itself. Record crops are harvested in Africa, now a green and lush
continent. Fish stocks, given a chance to renew are abundant. A resolution
is passed by the UN, that no one will starve or be subject to violence or
terror, that politicians work for the people and are there to serve them.
Politics is now seen as a calling and an honour to serve humanity, not as a
licence to steal from the people. The world runs on pollution free vehicles
and global warming is now a scary story to tell naughty children. Little
cars do just fine and with a top speed of 100km, there are so few accidents,
that insurance is not essential.  The old documents are studied with
interest as students try to understand why bigger was thought to be better
and why overconsumption of resources was seen as a virtue. Spending money to
show your status and proving that you have arrived by the size of your car
is a difficult concept and they debate it endlessly in fields of sunflowers,
overshadowed by the wind farms that power the planet.
Choose.

Beware the birds

We are blessed with a wonderful range of bird life in KwaZulu Natal. From the common lbj's, (little brown jobs) to the majestic crested eagles, the rare blue crane, sassy mynahs, and surely the loudest bird on the planet, the hadeda. No doubt they bring joy to twitchers but car owners beware, the birds.
They have one thing in common, and that is how bad their droppings can be for your beloved car's paint work. The fact that there are thousands of google results for bird poop is bad enough, let alone that so many relate to damage to cars paintjobs. Since birds don't do number one or number two but combine it, lets call it number three, it is very acidic, which eats away at paintwork if left on for any length of time. Some websites say 24 hours is enough time for the damage to be done and for the droppings to be permanently "etched" on to the paint surface. Not at all the kind if etchings we would want to keep.
The best advice is to get it off the car as soon as possible, with tissue soaked in water, or spray with fizzy water to get it moving. If you scrape it off without water you risk scratching the paint. Unfortunately most of us leave it until the next carwash, and even high pressure hoses are no match for these stubborn stains.
On such hot days we beeline for shady parking spots, under trees or in the shade of a building, which is where birds lurk waiting to send some luck our way. And if we needed any further proof that we live in a crazy world then the fact that some incredibly enterprising people are maketing bird droppings as a facial really says it all. Fantastic idea, just not on my car please.

The kindness of strangers.

Just when I thought my faith in human nature had gone for good, something happens that renews it a little. We have to hold on to the little good things, and celebrate when they happen, especially when they are all we have. It hasn't been a great time for faith and belief in the basic goodness of people lately. The brutal murder of a six year old boy, by 'robbers', Jesse Foords unrepentant rapists, hopefully facing indefinate sentences, and just so much uglyness, greed and brutality that just reading about it makes it difficult to breathe.
Suffice it to say, the more I learn about the worst things that people do, the more I like sharks.

So when I got a big fat rusty nail in my tyre, and had to drive to the closest garage to fix it, I was expecting to have to put my feminism to a physical test. Driving very slowly with hazards on should indicate there is something wrong, but provokes the oddest behaviour in other drivers, impatient hooting, overtaking on solid lines and blind rises. Since I'm not the most mechanically minded was not looking forward to channelling Rosie the Riveter. There was a great TV ad running a while ago, where a jeuged up lady is offered help with changing a flat tyre, from a guy eating KFC, only to find it is instructional and not physical, because he wouldn't put down his food. Lucky for me the opposite happened, just as I had found my lug nut and jack and trying to find instructions on how everything worked, two strangers took pity on me and basically changed the tyre. The fact that they were petrol attendants at the garage probably helped as they must have been trained to do pit stops quickly. Apart from the crazy place my spare is kept, under the car it was so quick and looked easy. But it always looks effortless when you are not doing the heavy lifting. So a big thank you to two good samaritans Bheki Ndlovu and Ntoyi Malozole from Caltex,who did not have to do anything and helped because they could. Yes of course I could change a tyre if I had to, but I'm counting on the kindness of strangers to hold off that day of reckoning.