Christmas shopping crazies

Do you work with sane people? If so then you're very lucky, and in a rare position. Any vacancies at mental health for all? Most of us have crazy colleagues exhibiting a number of strange behaviours most of which we must politely ignore or start world war three, as we try to change their behaviour while pointing out our own perfect natures. Some of the oddest behaviours are suddenly acceptable, like talking to yourself in the workplace. It's fine to call yourself a damn idiot, it's the answering back that's a problem.
The obsessive compulsive disorder can be seen in continual penclicking, fingertapping, whistling songs no one knows, and continuing conversations started months ago, and supposedly concluded then.
 Since so much of our time is spent with our oddly endearing
colleagues and not with our families, or loved ones, at least there is free fun. Why then, when we finally get our end of year break, everyone wants to do the same things as everyone else. Joburgers all want to go to the beach, and thank the gods of tourism they do, and herd together in their rows of sun damaged, ripped off splendour. Christmas Shopping is another nice money printer. Only eight shopping days left. Feel the fear, embrace the panic and go shopping before
everything is sold to someone else. So we herd off to spend hours in the warzone of the local mall, getting shoved aside for elusive bargains, run over by aggressive pram wielding mommies.  BEWARE those with kid in pram and two in tow manic mommas, they are " this close to giving someone a smack." The saddest thing is seeing those families where husbands have been dragged along to do the shopping. They lurch around like TV Sports deprived zombies, looking like they have been beaten, nodding when required and becoming visibly paler as they hand over credit cards and just plain getting in the way. Heres a plan to reduce congestion during the psycho shopping season, no children under 18 allowed and no men under 90, and that would mean a quicker less fraught shopping experience for all. And during this season of goodwill we won't have to be party to other peoples disfunctional families as they work through those issues that have rankled all year, publicly and without embarressment, just because its Christmas.